Office Hygiene/Etiquette

There are a couple of characters at my client. I think all teams have them.

Back in Sydney, i'm the impatient, face palming, swearing, smelly hobo. Unfortunately, i've had to pick up my game here and had to repress a lot of these traits.

Which brings me to the new characters in the office. There's a contractor sitting behind me who I call the gas fitter. At regular intervals, he/she lets off a very distinctive and sharp fart. There's about 10 people sitting behind me, so I can't tell which one it is ... but you gotta wonder, who is just relaxing that much and just letting it rip?

There's also the miner. When i walk past her, seldom do i not catch her looking for boogers up her nose. Like honestly, if she dug any further, she would tickle her own brain. I'm pretty sure she's up to the second or third knuckle!

Then there's the "3 second rule" guy. I was washing my hands in the men's room and the dude right next to me had all these paper towels on the counter. i figured he had pee'd himself or got some major splashback and was just cleaning himself up.

BUT NO!

Suddenly, he disappears from view and when i look over he has something on his finger. it's a contact lens and he's clearly dropped it on the ground. he gets his contact solution and squirts some on, rubs it around some and then jams it back in his eye. 

I practically do a double take. i think that most things that touch the ground in a public toilet have passed the point of no return. unless it is something valuable like a wallet perhaps. he's pretty much applied the three second rule (that applies to dropped food) to a contact lens. 

YUCK. he's practically just put pee and poo in his eye.

Here's waiting to see a hectic eye infection in the days to come...

A regular day in the office

So, i was watching The King's Speech. 


There was a certain moment in the film which reminded me of my normal day in the office in Sydney. 


Those who work in close proximity to me are fairly desensitised to my outbursts and face palms, however, this takes it one step further. Totally puts me to shame ;)


For your viewing pleasure :

Raped

There is a running joke at work that i LOVE chess. 


Token of photo of me professing my love for chess

It all came about one day after a colleague asked me what i did on the weekend. I replied with "I played a little sport" ... when instead i perhaps should have said "I played some squash". 


Because i was being vague, they were convinced that i was actually playing chess, and I have since been receiving endless sh1t for it. In my futile attempts to divert the attention away, i thought it would be funny to suggest that a certain individual at work played extreme chess on the weekends.


Example 1 ...

Example 2 ...

Unfortunately, said plan backfired. People at work are now convinced that my weekends are spent playing chess.


Today ... I was raped. In a public place. The worst thing was, I knew it was coming, and there was nothing I could do about it.


Let me explain.


Saturday is our token coffee day where we attempt to find a proper coffee in New York that doesn't taste like horseshit.


Today, we picked a place near Union Square and we bought a few cupcakes as an accompaniment. Unfortunately, as we were noming, a couple of random people started setting up tables with Chess boards.


My colleagues thought it would be extremely amusing for me to challenge one of these "grand masters". Chess is a game i have not played for about 13 years. I was convinced that I was going to suffer a 4 move checkmate. I don't know how many moves it took for him to win, but i can say that i was thoroughly RAPED. 


I have photos, by they are a little bit too graphic ... 


My best effort at intense concentration...

You can see the very few pieces i have captured ... and the invasion of the opponents queen into my territory :p

Look of dejection as I come to the realisation that i'm about to be taken advantage of ....

I think i have thus proven that i do not play chess on the weekend as i totally suck, however, to prove this, i had to play chess on the weekend. 


FML

Shutdown at work

The other day, I overheard two people arguing at work. It was over a fairly trivial matter, however, there appeared little sign of either relenting. 


One of them finally said :


"I would agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong."


Shut Down. That is all.

hehehe ;)

Front loaders

While I believe that I am domesticated and have proven that I can survive on my own, I can honestly say that I was completely baffled by a certain whitegood today. 


The front loader in my apartment. 


Here is a photo of the culprit in action

I confess that I had to google the manual and seek confirmation from a colleague back in Sydney.


I have only had experience with top loaders... you put the softener in the thing in the middle and powder or cleaning stuff on top of the clothes. 

Anyway, in the front loader, there's this little drawer with three compartments, one for the prewash, one for the wash and one for the softener. Unfortunately, they were not marked very well and I was totally WTF with where i needed to put the detergent. 


Anyway, to cut to the chase, I figured it out and was very relieved to receive confirmation that I had indeed done the right thing. 


I was very puzzled at the lack of water in the washer though. I couldn't see any water in there and was wondering whether or not the tap had been switched on. I must have spent a good half an hour nervously watching my clothes tumble around before finally being able to open the door and see that my clothes indeed had been washed. 


I had another giggle today. I did not notice in the store when i purchased my laundry detergent ...

My laundry detergent has touch of downy ...

A BOOTYful accident

Nuff said.