Back in Sydney, i'm the impatient, face palming, swearing, smelly hobo. Unfortunately, i've had to pick up my game here and had to repress a lot of these traits.
Which brings me to the new characters in the office. There's a contractor sitting behind me who I call the gas fitter. At regular intervals, he/she lets off a very distinctive and sharp fart. There's about 10 people sitting behind me, so I can't tell which one it is ... but you gotta wonder, who is just relaxing that much and just letting it rip?
There's also the miner. When i walk past her, seldom do i not catch her looking for boogers up her nose. Like honestly, if she dug any further, she would tickle her own brain. I'm pretty sure she's up to the second or third knuckle!
Then there's the "3 second rule" guy. I was washing my hands in the men's room and the dude right next to me had all these paper towels on the counter. i figured he had pee'd himself or got some major splashback and was just cleaning himself up.
BUT NO!
Suddenly, he disappears from view and when i look over he has something on his finger. it's a contact lens and he's clearly dropped it on the ground. he gets his contact solution and squirts some on, rubs it around some and then jams it back in his eye.
I practically do a double take. i think that most things that touch the ground in a public toilet have passed the point of no return. unless it is something valuable like a wallet perhaps. he's pretty much applied the three second rule (that applies to dropped food) to a contact lens.
YUCK. he's practically just put pee and poo in his eye.
Here's waiting to see a hectic eye infection in the days to come...
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